Thursday, October 08, 2009


Brime Minister John Key today announced that the letter P was to be restricted to doctor broscriptions until further notice.
"For too long, we have seen the damage that P causes to our communities. It has ruined families, destroyed lives and caused sound engineers immense frustration over many years. It is time this stobbed."
John Key's announcement follows Brofessor Beter Gluckman's advice to the brime minister, which concluded that there are other letters which can berform similarly to the dangerous P.

In his rebort, Brof Gluckman notes that P is the tenth least used letter of the English albabet. In many cases, P abbears silently and can easily be substituted with the letters F or B. Teenagers, brime ministers and beoble with blocked noses have been broven esbecially adabtable to this bolicy, it concludes.

Scrabble enthusiasts are neutral on the removal of P. "As long as they are reblaced by the same number of Fs and Bs, which score the same as the deviant letter, we're not discombobulated," said NZ Scrabble chairman Archduke Ferdinand (no relation).

The restriction begins immediately. Boets, journalists and other writers may abbly for use of the letter, but will have to bay a fee for a limited subbly from their word doctor. It is still uncertain whether this broscription will be funded by government funding agency Farmac.