Tuesday, September 13, 2011

The Godmother

It is 4am in the morning at Sir Peter Jackson's house in Miramar. The phone rings. Sir Peter picks up the phone.

"You owe the Godmother a favour," the voice says. "Be ready to receive the Godmother at your studio in one hour."

Sir Peter is standing by the elevator door as the lift descends to the production floor. Two figures in trenchcoats and fedoras carry a stretcher out of the lift past Sir Peter. Helen Clark steps out and walks to Sir Peter.

"Are you ready to do me a service?" says Clark.

"Certainly, Godmother. How can I be of service?" says Sir Peter.

They walk over to the table where the stretcher has been placed.

"I want you to use all of your powers and all of your skills..." says Clark. She pulls back the blanket to reveal a badly mangled penguin.

"I don't want the public to see him this way. I want you to stuff this penguin and make it presentable for public viewing." she says.

"The damage is immense," says Sir Peter, inspecting the corpse. "This is a gunshot wound, not bite marks."

The Godmother stares icily at one of her minions. "We were only meant to stun and recapture him once the DoC crew had departed. Chris Carter mistook the shark gun for the tranq gun though and blew half of Happy Feet's torso away. Can you... fix him?" says Clark.

"It will be done, Godmother." says Sir Peter. "You want to give him a proper funeral?"

"No, I want you to stuff him with as much animitronics as you can. I want him to replace Phil Goff as Labour Party leader after the election."