Thursday, December 08, 2005

They shoot the mental don't they?

Anyone with a slight mental disability may wish to avoid travelling on planes with US Air Marshals. These nuts have guns.

The copper goldmine

I'll give you a prediction; within ten years, Telecom will either be dead and gone, or a completely different beast from today's dinosaur. Telecom must evolve or die. Today's articles in Stuff show that Telecom knows this. According to a letter to Swain from Teresa Gattung released to the DomPost under the OIA, unbundling would rip the shit out of Telecom.

This is true. Telecom makes a fortune on toll calls and would lose millions in revenue by removing national toll zones. Like any company, Telecom wishes to retain value to shareholders. One way of doing this is upgrading their toll system to VoIP over the next few years. That's right, by 2012 Telecom wants all NZ toll calls to go through its fat bandwidth high speed lines, something that any customer with Skype could do if only they had access to said high speed lines. Only the former scam maximises the return to Telecom's shareholders, so no surprises which one is Gattung's preferred model.

Same as it ever was. When I was at Telecom, I observed a range of revenue streams directly linked to Telecom's monopolistic stature in NZ. I'm not sure whether I am at liberty to disclose what these were, so I won't go into detail. You'll have to trust me on this. Suffice it to say that it is in Telecom's interests to employ as many lawyers as possible to put off the inevitable for as long as possible. Frankly, it makes the Waitangi Tribunal gravy train look like a scramble for 5c pieces.

Maybe, just maybe, Telecom may survive all this. A mate of mine in the telco trade reckons it will only happen if Telecom get out of retail and make their money in wholesale only. Good advice I'd say.

Saturday, December 03, 2005

Safety nazis get serious

A German man has lost his job after being caught smoking at home by private detectives hired by his employer. The man had previously signed a contract with his bosses where he would get paid more it he did not smoke. According to his work fuhrers, no-smoking incentives made economic sense... every full-time worker who smoked was losing an average of 12 work days a year in cigarette breaks.

Well, dip-shits, he wouldn't take so long if you didn't make them walk outside for cigarettes. Not that he seems to have taken any cigarette breaks at work since the pogrom started, so the company technically got what it wanted from him anyway. Perhaps they should pay people more to not take toilet or meal breaks. Then they would be even more efficient!

Entre les trous de la memoire

No real news today so why not... (Tip DPF)


First Best Friend: Phil. Met in the first year of primary and still friends.
First Screen Name: piscean
First Pet: Kaiser, a german shorthaired pointer who was put down after 16 great years. Smarter and more loyal than the average human.
First Piercing: Left ear when I was 18. Had more along the way but they've all gone now.
First Crush: Suzannah, the class giant
First CD Bought: Peter Gabriel - Car
First Car: 1977 Vauxhall Chevette, bought off a granny in Taupo who used it primarily as a shopping trolley and had never discovered third gear.
First True Love: Jenny, bless her
First Stuffed Animal: A green felt stuffed crocodile made by Nana, the first of a whole zoo.
First Words: No idea
First Game System: Atari, with the unfeasibly large cartridges that slotted in the top for each game of "ping pong" or "gridiron".


Last Alcoholic: Corbans White Label Cab Sav a couple of weeks' ago
Last Movie Seen: Two Towers on the telly
Last CD Played: Nick Cave - Lyre of Orpheus
Last Bubble Bath: No bubbles, last bath six months' ago
Last Time You Cried: The day after the election but absolutely nothing to do with politics. I watched the last episode of Six Feet Under and cried like a baby.
Last Time You Laughed: This morning at my cat, Hunter
Last Time You Fell: Two months' ago, tripped over a Wet Floor sign on a dry floor


Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Friends: Most of the female ones
Have You Ever Been Arrested: Yes
Have You Ever Been Skinny Dipping: No, unfortunately not
Have You Ever Been On TV: several times, as an object not a subject
Have You Ever Regretted A Kiss: Of course
Have You Ever Been Drunk: Of course
Have You Ever Slept For 24 Hours Straight: Yes, and none of them was drug-induced
Have You Ever Worn the Same Pants for 3 Weeks Straight: No


1. Boxers
2. Dressing gown
3. Straw hat
4. The fish
5. The mouse
6. The yin
7. The masks


1. Breakfast of Champions, coffee and cigarettes
2. Read a few chapters of a Lincoln biography
3. Made a batch of afghan biscuits
4. Looked through the DomPost job ads and got remarkably depressed
5. Listened to the sound of trees
6. Logged on


1. The computer, the vacuum cleaner of my life
2. Hunter, rat killer and comedian
3. My friends, who keep me sane
4. The beauty of Wellington, especially the view from my hobbit hole
5. Music


1. Phil
2. Dennis
3. Roo
4. Pauli


1. radio or cd: cd
2. German chocolate cheese cake or vanilla bean cheese cake: chocolate
3. black or white: black


1. Write this bloody book!
2. Taste marijuana honey


Going to Vic instead of Massey

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Stash levels

UK Home Secretary Clarke has released his thoughts on the difference between using and dealing. Over the next few months, he hopes to consult widely and put it into law. Let's compare the proposal with current NZ law:

Minimum levels for supply:_____NZ_____UK
Ecstacy:___________________5g____10 tablets
Cannabis resin:______________5g_____125g
Cannabis bud/leaf:____________28g____550g

Tomorrow, while we're feeling morally superior to Singapore as Nguyen Tuong Van swings, just remember that NZ is not so shit hot on sane drug law either.

Going through the motions

Colin James has an excellent piece on how MMP elections have formed MMP governments. Spoiler alert, please do not read it if you wish to keep any shred of belief in NZ democracy. Things such as a Legislature as rubber stamp, the GG as irrelevant to the discussion, and the Labour triumvirate deciding the fate of the nation makes a mockery of our constitutionally hollow symbols.