Friday, May 03, 2013

The Missionary Position

Evidence of Christian cannibalism has been unearthed on the bloody fields of modern America:
Gruesome archaeological evidence has emerged revealing how some of the first settlers of America survived a period of famine. The vicious winter of 1609, dubbed the Starving Time by historians, saw the colonists at Jamestown, Virginia, who had consumed every scrap of food in the settlement, turn to cannibalism. When help and supplies finally arrived the following spring, only 60 of the original 300 settlers were still alive. The skull of a 14-year-old girl, excavated last year from a rubbish dump at James Fort, has revealed a mass of cut marks, at first tentative, then fiercely smashing the skull apart to extract the brain and other soft tissue for food.
Let's hope that knowledge shaves some shine off American Exceptionalism.

As usual, near starvation was largely brought about a "breakdown in communication with the natives". Of course, American missionaries weren't the only ones who had to consider hard options in the New World. Take, for example, Samuel Marsden in New Zealand:
The missionaries at the Bay of Islands were in an awkward position. Set alone in their little settlement, they were expected by Marsden and the Missionary Society to survive as best they could, although small means had been made for their provisioning. Almost inevitably the missionaries were drawn into the musket trade: there was no other way for them to get the things they needed from the Maoris.

At first, or so it would seem, the missionary leaders placed no prohibition on giving muskets to the Maoris. In 1814, Samuel Marsden himself distributed them to favoured individuals.

That's an excerpt from the chapter The Depopulation of the Maoris in Harrison Wright's New Zealand 1769 - 1840: Early Years of Western Contact (Harvard University Press 1959, pg. 86).

Earlier on, the chapter points out that prior to European contact, Maori wars were more akin to a brutal Rugby League game. Deaths would be few, although plenty of blood was spilled. Muskets created a tech imbalance that allowed old feuds to be rekindled. As long as the chief owned more muskets than his opponent, right was on his side.

.......

Isn't mitochondrial DNA amazing? It has allowed scientists to map human migration paths through haplogroups. Cheddar Man was not only genetically related to the village of Cheddar, he was eaten like one too. Neanderthals seemed to have resorted to eating their own in times of hardship, and everyone of European descent is descended from Neanderthals.

Is this what the Catholics really mean by original sin? Is that why Jewish Law bans the eating of pork? It doesn't matter. Ninety-nine out of a hundred starving people will still choose food over religion every time.