Anarchy in the UK

It's not often that I agree with police of any stripe, but the Auton from Eton's idea of appointing a New York crime consultant in the aftermath of the British riots is a bloody stupid idea. What does a Yank know about the situation? Does Cameron really consider New York and British problems equivalent? He's thicker than he looks, and he's asking for trouble.

Whingeing Pom discovered in Pram

Martin Warriner didn't come here to live in Maoriland, according to today's DomPost. All this vim and vinegar over a macron on Kapiti, when all the local iwi want is for people to pronounce the name properly. i.e. Car-piti not Cap-iti.

Lew at Kiwipolitico reckons Martin should just fuck off if he doesn't like it. Might I suggest some places for Martin to live back in Old Blighty:

Fucknob, Hampshire
Twatt, Orkney
Shitterton, Dorset
The Knob, Oxfordshire

And before I get snapped for calling Paraparaumu Pram, ask an NZSL person.

Grafty Bastard

UK Foreign Minister William Hague is in deep shit after a leak pointing how he used diplomatic channels to raise the share price of an oil company at the expense of the dirt poor Ugandans:

After the visit, Mr Bellingham wrote to the Foreign Secretary, saying “My meeting with President Museveni allowed me to raise a specific trade issue, again regarding Tullow Oil.”

“Consequently, Tullow have concluded the deal with [Heritage Oil], allowing both companies’ share price to rise by approximately 50p and £1 respectively.” 

70,000 quid to save 175 million quid? What kind of unethical moron wouldn't jump at the chance?

A marriage made in Britain

Nicked from here

Up until quite recently, if a certain breed of comics geek had heard someone say Clegg, the mental image brought to mind was more reptilian than the UK's new Deputy PM. Kleggs first appeared in Judge Dredd as ferocious mercenaries brought in by the insane Chief Judge Caligula:

Their battle-cry was "Klegg-Hai! Klegg-Hai!" and, in The Day The Law Died, they also preceded this with a war-song: "slicey slicey, oncey twicey, claw and fang'll kill Dredd nicely! Meaty beaty, chop 'em neatly, death or glory no retreatee!".

It's a hell of a catch cry to have stuck in one's head, to then be introduced and underwhelmed with the actually presence of whatsisname Clegg. I would say he has the most forgettable face in UK politics, but then there's David Cameron. Or, as he is known by certain Dr Who geeks, CamAuton.

You're fired

NZ has earned the right to feel smug about leading Britain in something for a change, and it has nothing whatsoever to do with sport. Much more important than that. Yes, damnit, we do have a better government because of MMP.

But there's an oft-forgotten and much more important point. Another reason to be smug, apart from the Cabinet Manual. As we continue into the 21st Century, the class system has nowhere near the same grip on the people in NZ than that of the UK. At least Key is new money, not the Porterhouse Blue bloods. We are uneven, sure, but not quite like that:

HT Inquiring Mind

It's Clegg's choice, really. The puns are endless. Slicey slicey oncey twicey on public spending will not be enough to subdue the UK's public finances. It'll be Death and Taxes no retreatee! too. That, or as a commoner faggot to do Lord CamAuton's dirty work on the other. Whatsisname has a hell of a ride ahead of him. Nick.

UPDATE: D'oh. The Guardian already did it.

It goes on

Tumeke has had a look at the British Conservative Party website and deemed it "Gawdawful". I'll take his word for it, but the screengrabs have an uncanny similarity of look to NZ National's campaign of 2008. Lots of blue skies and tepid phrases. The current one is "We can't go on like this," which is getting a right ridiculing with a billboard masher over at mydavidcameron.com:

There's even a spin-off generator which will Malcolm Tuckerise the slogan.

Hit me with your medicine stick

Cop medic at the G20 protests. His cousin probably worked as a doctor in Abu Ghraib. Hat Tip Boing Boing.

Gritty ditty

Natasha Richardson bumped her head,
And now she's dead.
Ian Tomlinson got hit and lost traction,
Cop-assisted cardiac infarction.

Cold-blooded murder

After days of official silence over the circumstances leading up to the death at the G20 protests, video showing a police riot squad goon pushing the now dead Ian Tomlinson appears. The Telegraph summarises:

The footage, captured by a New York fund manager and given to The Guardian, shows around 10 police officers, some of them with dogs, walkng down a street. One of them, wearing a riot helmet and high visibility jacket, approaches Mr Tomlinson from behind and appears to strike him on the back of the legs with a baton. The officer then lunges at him, pushing him from behind, sending him crashing facedown on to the pavement.

The officers then stand over Mr Tomlinson and do not attempt to help him as he sits on the ground. He appears to try to speak to them before he is helped up by passers-by.

In spite of plenty of police witnesses and Dagg knows how much official surveillance footage recorded, it takes a tourist to tell the truth. The Brit cops should really stop killing innocent bystanders and trying to cover it up.

Nice serve

What a brilliant serve. Death by a thousand scalpels:

Former "M" uses "U" word

Baroness Eliza Manningham-Buller, former "M" of MI5 until last year, has used her maiden speech in the House of Lords to call the new 42 day pre-charge detention law "unworkable":

"I have weighed up the balance between the right to life – the most important civil liberty – the fact that there is no such thing as complete security, and the importance of our hard-won civil liberties. Therefore, on a matter of principle, I cannot support 42 days' pre-charge detention. I do understand different views and that there are judgements honestly reached by others, and I respect these views."

Those British judges are soooo smart

There's a round of cheers going around about how wonderful the Privy Council is, thanks to the whole David Bain thing. Well, I hope judges like this one aren't on it. This big-wig is hearing evidence on a charge of inciting terrorism via the Internet:

Judge Peter Openshaw broke into the questioning of a witness about a Web forum used by alleged Islamist radicals. "The trouble is I don't understand the language. I don't really understand what a Web site is," he told a London court during the trial of three men charged under anti-terrorism laws.

Just because they're British, doesn't mean they're any wiser than us. (Hat tip /.)