Photoshop disasters; Crucifixion Edition

This just in from Boing Boing; Orthodox Christians are bad Photoshoppers.

Aussie cops launch sting and get rooted

In yet another example of how Australian authorities don't have the faintest clue about the internet, their federal police have had their hacker honeypot hacked. And more:

In two provocative messages published on anonymous document-sharing site pastebin.com, the hacker slammed the federal police for "making it sound like they can bust 'hackers', when all they have done is busted a COUPLE script kiddies". "Script kiddies" is hacker parlance for novice hackers.

The second of these messages contained several links to screenshots allegedly proving that the writer had access to the federal police's server. These included shots of files containing fake IDs and stolen credit card numbers, as well as the federal police's server information.

Ramsey vs Yanks

This article about Gordon Ramsey's culture shock on arriving in the USA sums up all the very worst in American diners:

“Hardly anyone drinks here,” he announces, with palpable disgust... “You’re on your second glass of wine and they’re like, ‘How long have you been an alcoholic?’ "

‘Do you want that to go?’ I say to them, ‘Sorry? I just had the Caesar salad. What the f*** do I want to take that home for?’ The salad lasts for 11, 12 minutes – you’re gonna take that slimy s*** out of your fridge 24 hours later and eat it? Bollocks!”

[D]iners who insist on customising every order (“Can I have a BLT with no bread?” he mimics)

This was a huge bugbear for me when I was a waiter. The menu is not a fucking list of suggestions. It's the menu. If it's it's not on the menu, then you can't fucking have it!

But then again, the lived-in face of Ramsey is a bit of a shock to the Botox Nation too:

“My first year here, I was staying at the Chateau Marmont and this room-service waitress turned up and she goes, ‘Oh, my God, what happened to your face?’” he recalls, shaking his head. “I said, ‘What do you mean?’ She said, ‘Did you go through a car windscreen?’ ”

Insulting Language

This election is going to get very dirty. Taunts of 'panty slut boy' and 'rick prick' have been making the rounds for some time. Perhaps it's time to look abroad for some new insults for MPs to throw at each other. Cracked has a list of the 9 Most Devastating Insults from around the world.

Particular favourites:

"Suck butter from my ass" - Spain
"You're as ugly as a salad" - Bulgaria
"Let the rats ejaculate on you" - Armenia
"Piss into a transformer" - Finland
"I dream about farting on you" - Bosnia

Pissed Sith attacks Jedi

A drunk Darth Vader attacked a Jedi Master in his back garden with a metal crutch. A documentary crew filming at the time also got whacked.

A nice pair

Auckland is invading Wellington over the next few days. There's the Blammers and RB coming down for a gig at the Second AWAs tomorrow night tonight. Tonight If you miss out a spot at Might Mighty, there's Michelle A'Court and Jan Maree at the San Francisco Bath House Comedy Night. 8:30 onwards, $15 on the door (Cheap!) Next week, Ewen Gilmour takes the stage.

Sit and fart in the duck

An hilarious phonetic sub-titling of a Flemish children's TV song:



Particularly hilarious as not only am I fourth-generation Flemish, but also it gives a good idea what it's like for a half-deaf listening to a conversation (We don't hear what you say. We hear a sum over dictionaries relating to all similar vocal tones).

Hat Tip BoingBoing.

Spread the Pink

Fitz Bunny: Lust for Glory. Go see it. Funny, witty, horny, Welly-ocentric, Anti-American. It's all good.

Those British judges are soooo smart

There's a round of cheers going around about how wonderful the Privy Council is, thanks to the whole David Bain thing. Well, I hope judges like this one aren't on it. This big-wig is hearing evidence on a charge of inciting terrorism via the Internet:

Judge Peter Openshaw broke into the questioning of a witness about a Web forum used by alleged Islamist radicals. "The trouble is I don't understand the language. I don't really understand what a Web site is," he told a London court during the trial of three men charged under anti-terrorism laws.

Just because they're British, doesn't mean they're any wiser than us. (Hat tip /.)

Tesla alarm

Some Ozzie inventor has come up with a preferable alternative to car alarms.

The Best Medicine

Don't know when it happened, but the 2007 Comedy Festival has been finalised for May. Highlights include the welcome return of Dylan Moran, as well as a veritable cornucopia of comedians and comediennes. Check it out.