Tuesday, February 12, 2013

Pope Idol

Pope Benedict Rat I has had enough of being the Catholic Church's version of an earthly Metatron for "god" and tendered his resignation. The Vatican sez there will be a new Pope in time for Easter. NZ toonist Grant Buist wants a rabbit pope.

As a disinterested atheist, here are my nominations for who should have a crack at pontiff-ication and have their fisherman's ring kissed.

US Supreme Court Judge Clarence Thomas - Conservative as Catholics come; knows Latin. He's no saint, let alone cardinal, but if anyone can smack the Vatican bureaucracy into action, he can. Yank-imposed compromise candidate for an African pope.

Justin Bieber - Would encourage millions of new converts to the faith. Has successfully unified deep Christian belief with immense wealth. On the downside, he's almost certainly too young too be pope, and too old to be any use as a choirboy or cardinal's assistant.

Grumpy Cat - Because cats eat rabbits.

Then again, Gordon Campbell has a perfectly reasonable take on the serious contenders. Martini? I'm more of a vodka Mojito guy myself.