Thursday, January 31, 2013

The Division Bell

Put a Kiwi head of State on hold for the moment. Let cannabis prohibition continue to burn a hole in the soul of these islands. If there's one thing that urgently needs reforming, it is Parliament's bloody division bell.

The division bell is a hellish klaxon which announces to all the Parliamentarians whipped by their parties that their presence is required in the House. Befitting a house of smoke and mirrors, it is pitched like a low frequency smoke alarm. One that no-one can work out how to switch off in no less than five minutes.

It is a sound that cannot be ignored. Part chainsaw, part crying baby, it has all the qualities found in the really great torture classics. It wouldn't sound out of place on the CIA's 20 Solid Gold Hits Rendition Soundtrack.

The division bell also never fails to set off my tinnitus. Dagg knows what it must do to the willingly-incarcerated inmates of that institution. How can anyone be expected to think with a clear head after that racket?

Please, for the love of Dagg, can't they just switch the building lights on and off instead? At a reasonable frequency so as not to set off epileptic attacks, of course.