Thursday, January 10, 2013
Hammerheads and Gunbags
Jon Stewart squeezes laughter out of despair with a look at the arguments against gun control in the US. The Hicksville Cliff remains, and the only question is how long before iPredict takes bets on when and where the next Future Shock Gunbagger goes off. That's Futsie, in Dredd-speak.
Monday, November 12, 2012
Those screwy Yanks
General "Rock Me" Petraeus has been stood down as CIA chief spook because of his Tiger Wooding and not, for example, for overseeing extra-judical killings including the cold-blooded murder of at least one of the United States' own citizens.
Mind you, this is the same mad country that impeached one president over a blowjob (Clinton), while letting another walk away from war crimes (George W Bush). So, no shock, no surprise. Just a strange feeling, as if the the world was being held hostage by a large be-jewelled toddler with straight white teeth and a lobotomy scar, holding a Coke in one hand and a nuclear Nerf gun in the other.
Here's hoping the Republicans can dial down the Heaven's Gate hysteria long enough to avoid another fiscal cliffhanger.
Saturday, September 01, 2012
Every Which Way But Moose II

Fellow Republican supporters actor/director Clint Eastwood and Dr Banjo have signed on to a star in a sequel to the 1978 classic Every Which Way But Loose after their successful gig at the US Republican Convention in Tampa, Florida this week.
The duo's "Aha! You have proved my point!" routine was received to thunderous applause from the convention floor. "I haven't been this entertained since the Atlas Shrugged movie came out," said a youthful convention volunteer wearing a suit of teabags, who preferred to remain anonymous.
Dr Banjo, renowned professor from the Creature-ist University of Kentucky, got on so well with the legendary Hollywood star on stage, he has agreed to perform his acting debut in the third Every Which Way But Loose movie, which is going under the working title of Every Which Way But Seuss.
The original actor who played the role of Eastwood's love interest Lynn Halsey-Taylor, Sondra Locke, has said that she is categorically retired from the franchise. Sarah Palin has been rumoured to be considering the role.
Wednesday, May 02, 2012
Slouching towards Zardoz
There's a glimmer of hope for frequent business travellers and other Friends of America:
While warning on potential security threats, Napolitano also hinted that travel between the United States and New Zealand could be streamlined for frequent travellers. Ahead of a meeting with Prime Minister John Key, Napolitano said she would be viewing the "smart gate" system that operates between Australia and New Zealand tomorrow.Of course, cattle class TSA screening will continue for the rest of the mob, where grandmother crotch anomalies just add to the holidaying experiences. Here's Vanity Vair with some long form journalism on how all that security blanket is a waste of money. Something to read at the airport while you're waiting for your pre-flight anal probe and mouth swab.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Texas and the Rick Perry Rape Stick
The NZ Herald looks at the new Texas law that requires women wanting an abortion to be raped by an ultrasound device. But the accompanying picture doesn't quite do the injustice justice. Here's a closer look at the Rick Perry Rape Stick, compared to the usual ultrascanner:
That's at least twenty centimetres of Republican plastic up a women's vagina. I can't wait for the Pat Robertson Pap Smear. That'll probably feature some rusty flanges and a gin trap.
The most vocal criticism over the Texan Fatwa hasn't been over the new law, but over a Doonesbury cartoon on the subject. Newspapers across the US continent refused to run the strip. Here's what the fuss was about, courtesy of the LA Times (click images to embiggerate):
The chances of me ever wanting to visit the USA has never been that great. But you'd sooner see Dick Cheney sucking Kim Jong Un's tiny penis on YouTube before I'll step foot in that mad land of cunty Jesus Freaks in Texas.
Friday, August 12, 2011
There is no exception to America
PJ O'Rourke once described the Philippines' history of colonial rule by Spain then the US as three hundred years in a convent, fifty years in a brothel. What he failed to mention was what happened during the change from one to the other:
American forces were soon engaged in atrocities that resulted in the deaths of tens and possibly hundreds of thousands of civilians as well as the burning of villages and the widespread use of torture to extract information. Brigadier General Robert Hughes defended the actions before Senate investigators in 1902 on grounds that would be familiar to the ancients: "These people," he said, "are not civilized."HT Arts & Letters Daily.
OK, they got the idea from the previous occupiers, and WWII led to atrocities that would dwarf the Filippino massacres. But consider how the Guantanamo Bay occupants were and are excluded from the Geneva Conventions because a legal argument was used that rendered them non-combatants, completely unlike the civilised American soldiers.
From a very early age, I have known of the evil that men can do. OK, evil's the wrong word. Call it man's inhumanity to man and everything else. The USA is no exception to this, no matter how much it clutches its exceptionalism as an alibi for atrocities.
In WWII there was a Japanese POW camp in New Zealand based at Featherston. How's our SAS going in Afghanistan these days? Still handing non-combatants over to the US, or is it a Take No Prisoners policy now?
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Waiting for Cain
Cain's first execution, he told the Baptist Press, was done strictly by the book. "There was a psshpssh from the machine, and then he was gone," Cain recalled. "I felt him go to hell as I held his hand. Then the thought came over me: I just killed that man. I said nothing to him about his soul. I didn't give him a chance to get right with God. What does God think of me? I decided that night I would never again put someone to death without telling him about his soul and about Jesus.""Choose" Baptist Pentecostal Rehab and you're OK. Opt out, like the Angola Three, and you're in a sub-Abu Gharib world of inhuman treatment.
Friday, May 20, 2011
Escape from Pleasantville
Escape was the goal. I realised that the first time I tried to run away at age five. Alas, there was nowhere to run to. Then I discovered books:
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Nicked from here, HT BoingBoing. |
When I visit friends with kids these days, I keep a quiet note of the quality and quantity of their libraries. It's not a snob point, it is a matter of access to education for their sprogs. Or themselves, for that matter. Alas, the tidings are not good. Brains cannot be fed on sports biographies and recipe books alone.
And yet, my highly selective polling of NZ homes fares much better than the ones done on US households:
1/3 of high school graduates never read another book for the rest of their lives.That's ripped from here, which has much more depressing evidence of the continuing decline in American intelligence. But screw the adults, what about the children?
42 percent of college graduates never read another book after college.
80 percent of U.S. families did not buy or read a book last year.
70 percent of U.S. adults have not been in a bookstore in the last five years.
57 percent of new books are not read to completion.
70 percent of books published do not earn back their advance.
70 percent of the books published do not make a profit.
As many as 42 percent of American children come from families without the “luxury” disposable income to purchase new books, according to a NYTimes “Fixes” blog post, and tens of millions of families have no books at home at all.HT Melville House Publishing via onegoodmove.
This will not have a happy ending.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Son of ACTA is a complete bastard
Some key points:
- It would require that countries participating ban parallel import for any copyright holder who wants it. That is, if a copyright holder says no, countries would have to block your ability to purchase legal and authorized products in one country and import them into another. This is the so-called "grey market" which should be perfectly legal, but which many companies would like to block so they can price things much higher in some countries.
- It would require criminal enforcement for certain cases of circumventing DRM even when there's no copyright infringement, going beyond existing treaties even when there's no copyright infringement. There are some exceptions, but rather than allow countries to determine their own exceptions, it defines the exceptions and actually says countries cannot go beyond those.
- It would impose liability on ISPs for dealing with infringing works that goes well beyond the DMCA. Yes, Hollywood may finally be able to force ISPs to act as their personal business model cops -- something they've been unable to do in the US.
- Along those lines, there would be "legal incentives" for ISPs to go above and beyond that in helping copyright holders.
- Forget privacy. ISPs would be required to identify users on request, going well beyond existing law.
- Expand what is considered patentable, going in the opposite direction of what's needed. Most troubling, it would allow patents on inventions even if the inventions do "not result in the enhancement of the known efficacy of that product." This seems to go against the very purpose of patent law, but the USTR has already shown it couldn't care much less than actually obeying the Constitutional underpinnings of patents or copyright law.
- Continues the troubling and problematic idea that patents must be assumed valid, even if they were only briefly reviewed.
- A requirement to forbid third party opposition of patent applications. This is particularly ridiculous. Allowing third parties to oppose patent applications (as is allowed with trademarks) would certainly help prevent some really bad patent applications from getting through. How can the USTR justify not allowing such a basic concept of letting third parties point out bad patents before they're approved. Especially when you combine this with the "presumption of validity" in patents once granted, it looks like the USTR is trying to increase the rubber stamping of patent approvals.
Can a government be accused of treason, I wonder? I mean, it is increasingly clear that the Nats are making it all up as they go along. John Key is still a long way from understanding what he can and can't blurt to the nation, as well as what he can and can't promise on our behalf to the US corporate raiders.
You've got to have serious doubts on the TPP when Gordon Campbell and Eric Crampton are in agreement. So sez Bernard Hickey, Jane Kelsey and me too. If the Nats sign on to this, they'll have a bigger Blackout protest on his hands than last time.
UPDATE: Here is the link I was thinking of during this post. Technically Alex Tarrant, but Bernard Hickey is complicit.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Inflatable assets
The first sign that he was not exactly committed to intellectual integrity was his choice of textbook for the course: an abominable book called America: The Last Best Hope, by William Bennett. Yes, THE William Bennett, Reagan’s Secretary of Education, the buffoon who sermonized on virtue until his gambling losses added up so high that they drowned out his pomposities, the man who once scolded a child in public for wearing a Bart Simpson t-shirt.
Bennett’s title sums up the thesis of his textbook clearly: America is literally, simply, the last and best hope for the human species. Tough luck, China — or Burma, or Ecuador, or any other nation on the planet — because we R it, the alpha and omega. It’s a classic reactionary thesis: “I can’t imagine any nation ever being as great as America; therefore no nation ever will be.”
Wednesday, October 06, 2010
Chariots of FIRE
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Fox out-stupids the competition
The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
The Parent Company Trap | ||||
www.thedailyshow.com | ||||
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Monday, January 11, 2010
Drone wars
A few years back, some high-powered US diplomat or spook visited Wellington. The results of their meetings are lost in the filing cabinet, but the legend of the US departure lives on. The US jet left the capital's stunted airstrip heading into a stiff nor'wester at a damned near vertical ascent.
Using the superior design and horsepower that only the world's biggest military budget can provide, it's as if the pilot was ordered to get the fuck away from that miserable, pokey little island nation as fast as Americanly possible.
It is bleeding edge technology like that rocket out of Wellington that has helped maintain US supremacy throughout the 20th century and into the 21st. And it just might have something to do with its delinquency too. The inevitable has occurred. By the end of 2010, the US will have introduced domestic surveillance drones on its populace.
If there's one thing worse than Britain's CCTV state, it's America's Eye in the Sky. This is going to get nasty.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Those Americans are crazy
The film centres on Darwin and his wife Emma, played by real-life married couple Paul Bettany and Jennifer Connelly. Ebert sez that the evolution theories play background to the core theme of how people deal with the random and brutal reality of the natural world. Some might turn to faith to explain away the reason, while others throw themselves into their work and uncover the amorality of cause and effect instead.
The director's previous work includes such wholesome splendours as The Singing Detective TV series, Jim Henson's The Storyteller and the remake of The Return of Martin Guerre, Sommersby. It's not as if the Yanks aren't afraid of a bit of period drama. Just no challenging ideas in their drama, period.
As the latest Yank craziness on the healthcare debate shows, winning a debate with calm rational analysis is not an option over there. Faith and spectacle trumps evidence and observation every time.
America is damned. Let them eat Michael Bay and starve. Natural selection will prevail.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Politics, analysts and operators
This spook is in the country to talk to the NZ Police.
If you're looking for a brief history of CIA hi-jinks, take a look at Bill Moyers' Secret Government, which was produced to provide context to Reagan and HW Bush's Iran Contra scandal in the 80's:
Tuesday, June 02, 2009
US and Them again?
It’s clear to me he is a liar and a fool. New Zealanders should protest his economic and trade policies at every step. Our Prime Minister John Key should use one of those precious few minutes on the phone with the gilded one to tell him to rack off with his protectionism and his bailouts. They damage America and they damage the rest of the world. The honeymoon is over.There's increasingly smaller differences in the political management between the Bush/Cheney years and the Obama regime. Bush put up steel tariffs. Obama is protecting the sacred cows of US Dairy and the dogs of automobile manufacturing:
He is a liar because he promised a change to the status quo in Washington and he promised not to make the same mistakes from the 1930s that helped turn a recession into a depression. Yet he has done just that. He is a fool because he appointed exactly the wrong people to run his economic policies and has not intervened to stop them doing even more of the ruinous things started under Bush and Cheney.
Mr. Obama and his advisers expect G.M. to emerge from court protection in a few months as a new, radically smaller company owned by the federal government, the United Automobile Workers union and its bondholders.The economic damage is going to be painful enough, but there is little hope or change elsewhere either. Airport security continues to devise more circles of hell, from naked body scanners to fingerprinting outgoing Americans. Wiretapping of US citizens is continuing. There's talk of rape photos from Abu Ghraib being suppressed by the White House, on the grounds that they would "further inflame anti-American opinion" and "put our troops in danger."
Israeli PM Netanyahu has ignored Obama's call for a halt on new settlements on Palestinian land, favouring "natural growth." You'd think that with America's budget worries, there would be justifiable pressure brought to bear on Israel, seeing how Israel relies on the US for money just like Cuba used to with the Soviet Union.
Because only Jews are allowed to criticise Jews, here's Jeffrey Goldberg summing up the settlers' logic:
The settlers are arguing that their human rights would be violated if they were made to move to Israel. That's right. It used to be that a person could fulfill his Zionist destiny in a place like Petah Tikva, but no more: Now, it's a sin against God, apparently, to live anywhere but in a government-subsidized trailer on a barren hill in the mountains of Samaria.Is Obama's hand constrained by Chief of Staff Rahm "son of Irgun" Emanuel at all? His brother, Ari Emanuel, is the inspiration for Jeremy Piven's Ari Gold character in the TV series Entourage. Clearly there's enough Cheney-like arrogance in the family to get what they want:
So I'm with Bernard Hickey. President Obama, the love has gone. I'm looking forward to hearing Terry Michael, founder and executive director of the Washington Center for Politics and Journalism, at the inaugural American Politics Appreciation Society meeting tomorrow. The subject is Obama's first 100 days. Should be fun.
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
US prepares to go postal
A year ago, the Guns and Ammo Warehouse was selling, each month for $1,000 each, about 10 of their AR-15s, a semi-automatic civilian version of the army's M-16 assault rifle. Howley says he can now sell 45 a week, when he has them...Note, hunting rifles aren't selling. Now the Department of Homeland Security warns of the rise of domestic extremist right wing zealots:
"All the hand guns are selling and I can't get more in. I'm wearing a $3,000 hand gun. That's expensive and even they are sold out," he says. "When the guns come in I sell in a day or two what used to sit on the wall for weeks..."Even big department stores, such as Wal-Mart, are complaining that daily shipments of ammunition have all but dried up and that when stock does come in it sells out the same day.
"The largest gun show in Virginia was two weeks after the election," says Howley. "It sold out of ammo on the first day. People were just wheeling it out by the cart load.
Meantime, what's up with the GOP? The rent-a-cause teabaggers party or that Glenn Beck, highlighted by RB, shows they're leading by example in the Loony Tunes department. Bill Maher, you're always welcome in Wellington if things go Mad Max on you over there.A footnote attached to the report by the Homeland Security Office of Intelligence and Analysis defines "rightwing extremism in the United States" as including not just racist or hate groups, but also groups that reject federal authority in favor of state or local authority.
"It may include groups and individuals that are dedicated to a single-issue, such as opposition to abortion or immigration," the warning says.
Friday, March 13, 2009
Zeidi gets 3, Bush still free
The speed of the trial — two relatively brief hearings — is likely to feed widespread suspicion among Iraqis that al-Maliki's government orchestrated the process, although defense lawyers said they had no evidence of interference. Spokesmen for Bush and for the State Department both called the verdict "a matter for the Iraqi judicial system."
This is somewhat at odds with popular sentiment:
An ABC News/BBC/NHK poll released Thursday found that 62 percent of Iraqis surveyed considered al-Zeidi a hero and only 24 percent considered him a criminal. Support was highest among Sunni Arabs — 84 percent — and lowest among the Kurds at 38 percent, according to ABC.
However, Zeidi received the minimum sentence. I'm not sure if parole exists in Iraq but it won't be long before he's free again. My bet is Zeidi will end up running for election.
Meantime, a group of Canadian lawyers are trying to prevent George W Bush from entering the country. Lawyers Against War claim:
- George W. Bush, former President of the United States and Commander is Chief of the Armed Forces, is inadmissible to Canada under the Immigration and Refugee Protection Act (IRPA), section 35(1)(a) because of overwhelming evidence that he has ‘committed, outside Canada, torture and other offences referred to in sections 4 to 7 of the Crimes against Humanity and War Crimes Act (CAHWC); and,
- the George W. Bush Administration has engaged in “systematic or gross human rights violations, or a war crime or a crime against humanity within the meaning of subsections 6(3) to (5) of the CAHWC.
We request that the RCMP War Crimes Section immediately take the following steps:
- begin an investigation of George W. Bush for aiding, abetting and counseling torture between November 13, 2001 and November 2008 at Guantánamo Bay prison in Cuba, Abu Ghraib prison in Iraq, Bagram prison in Afghanistan and other places; and,
- advise the Prime Minister, Attorney General of Canada and Ministers of Immigration and Public Safety that the George W. Bush administration is a “ government that has engaged in torture and other war crimes and crimes against humanity and therefore G.W. Bush, as former President, is also inadmissible under section 35(1)(b) of the IRPA.
Thursday, December 18, 2008
In defence of Muntadar al-Zaidi
Never mind that the insult, like the shoes, went over Bush's head. We don't need any more proof about the Bush mindset. The man is as thick as a Soviet-era condom and about as diplomatic. His own party has disavowed knowledge of him, his country hates him, world leaders snub him. So he then decides that it would be a good idea to have one final tour of his mission accomplishments. Jane Young bitingly sums up that plan.
Not that prime minister of Iraq al-Maliki can afford to snub the man who has destroyed his country. Not with the US building the biggest fuck-off Embassy, 104 acres of Freedom, on the banks of the Tigris. The Embassy will be so god-damned huge, it will be completely self-sufficient. Baghdad, Iraq could burn and nothing would change inside Baghdad, USA. Troop withdrawals notwhithstanding, the US isn't leaving Iraq any time soon. Al-Maliki's hands and tongue are tied.
So it was left to a journalist to give Bush a more appropriate send off. The man responsible for untold deaths of Iraqis and Americans flies home scot free, while the guy who threw a couple of shoes at the unimpeachable war criminal gets the Gitmo treatment.
The Iraq Ambassador to the US is already noticed growing resentment towards al-Zaidi's treatment and incarceration. And if the crashing of Boing Boing's post on the virals inspired by his actions are anything to go by, you'd be hard pressed to find an international jury to convict him. Whether you got them to swear on a bible, a Koran or a copy of the God Delusion, the people's court has spoken. Let him go.