Following her shock resignation statement at a press conference on Friday morning, Sarah Palin has held another press conference on Sunday morning, where the ex-Governor outlined her planned ascension to the White House in 2012:
"I plan to walk the earth, like Kane in Kung-fu. In a VW Combi," she said during her three hour speech.
Palin went on to describe how she would take her family on a road trip of the Lower 48 States, travelling to town halls and beauty pageants around the country with her popular act of stripping to Rick James' Super Freak. Her entourage would consist of her colour-blind brother; her mad but saintly grandfather, Alan Arkin; her fuck-up uncle Steve Carell; and her parents Greg Kinnear and Toni Collette.
"We'll go where we're welcome, and in between, we are prepared to live off the land," said Palin. The VW Combi will include a formidable range of hunting and camping equipment.
Sarah Palin said that her tour has already received many invitations. Wyoming's Longshoremens Militia, a survivalist group who fight for the right to have a port in their land-locked state, have welcomed them with open arms. She also has a tour manager helping her co-ordinate the many requests from churches in the Southern states.