An unexploded cake mix was the reason for the bomb squad sealing off a Christchurch park yesterday. No injuries were sustained as emergency services worked around the clock to defuse the confectionery.
In related news, the introduction of NAG 5 on June 1st this year has seen schools around the country eliminate WMDs (Wontons of Mass Digestion) and other hazardous items such as pies, sausage rolls and chips. Mrs Miggins, who formerly ran a tuck shop at Tutaenui High School until the Ministry of Education closed her down, is upset. "It's winter and the little dearies can't concentrate in class without the warming comfort foods of pies and such at lunch time."
Already there are signs that students are rebelling against the unsalted popcorn and fruit kebab regime, escaping from school grounds to purchase illicit items at so-called "pastie houses." Ministry of Education police have recently uncovered a "Lamington Railway" in Auckland, and children have been suspended from their Taihape school after selling peanut slabs disguised as muesli bars.
A Ministry of Education official defended the crackdown on calorific catastrophe, saying "Resistance is useless."