Five STVs and a Shoo-in

One symptom of a political junkie is when a sizeable chunk of one's social network is standing in the local government elections. The ones who aren't MPs, anyway. And good on them. Better the devil you know.

Even so, I am finding it extraordinarily difficult to give a fat rat's crack about filling in those pumpkin-coloured electoral papers. This may be because I live in a three-horse town (they sometimes gait past my gate).

It's not Auckland or Otautahi, where things actually matter. Nor is it Wellington, with a choice between a disappointment of a mayor with her base deserted, or a has-been 70's cricketer who can't stop bodylining his audience. Giant Douche or Turd Sandwich indeed.

Sure, there are issues facing Kapiti. The debt per resident in the previous year was $2642, compared to Wellington City's $1843, but that can largely get resolved by moving the rates base away from an anomalous land only rating (the only council in the province with a rating system that excludes capital improvements), and introducing a business differential (at present, rates in Kapiti are the same for business and residential. No other council in the region has this policy either).

Jenny Rowan gets my tick as mayor of Pram, mainly on the basis of actually having met her once in person (Call it the Peter Dunne Effect). Gru Gurunathan was number two, because of his visibility in the local rag. I have never read his columns (or at least, none were memorable) but at least he's visible.

The rest of the list was ranked based on the meaningless blurbs submitted in the accompanying 68 page electoral instruction and candidate information booklet (WARNING: MAY CAUSE NARCOLEPSY), and the only article I could find on local candidate meetings:

David Scott 3, Ivan Sage 4, Jackie Elliott 5, Ross Church 6, Gavin Welsh 7. Yeah, I know I didn't have to rank Jar Jar Binks, but he's still preferable to Darth Nutter.

I have yet to decide on electing 5 At Large District Councillors. I wouldn't recognise any of the 15 candidates if they were lying in the gutter pissing lager. I don't like this At Large vote, anyway. Stuff what Local Government NZ thinks. I may just leave this blank out of plain, unadulterated apathy.

There is only one candidate for the sole ward seat, so no democracy needed there. Janet Holborow, elected unopposed.

Seven candidates vying for four seats on the community board. Two of them are also running for councillors jobs. David Scott is running for mayor as well, so screw his triple-dipping arse. In fact, none of them matter. Do not care. Will probably ending up ranking them out of drunken spite.

Flipped a coin for the sole Regional Councillor. Nigel Wilson 1, Chris Turver 2.

23 candidates for 7 District Health Board positions. Not even bothering to try to sort that snout trough out. If DHB elections disappeared from the ballot, no-one would notice. I'll probably leave that blank too. Ta for the useless formalities, Labour!

WCCNCEA

Community newspaper The Wellingtonian has a mid-term report of the Wellington City Councillors:

Four stars, eight journeymen and three no-hopers: that's our panel's verdict on Wellington city councillors' performance halfway through their three-year term.

It's a fair report. I've always got replies from Stephanie Cook and Andy Foster. I got to know Iona Pannett from the NZ Flag petition days. While we disagreed on some matters, she's diligent and heart-felt about the people. The same can be said for Kerry Prendergast.

Anyone thinking of running in next year's race should take note that all three "no-hopers" in the report are from the Northern Ward. Hmmm... tempting...

Auckland Death Star 2010

Depending on how apathetic the residents of Auckland are, today's announcement of the Auckland Super City may be John Key's first big mistake. Rodney Hide is not generally known for caution, yet his early determination to let the Royal Commission report sink in should have set a few alarm bells going for the Nats. Yet here they are, plowing on with a new Super City election next year. Which is a bit at odds with the correct deliberation that the Nats are taking with the Electoral Act consultation.

What they should have done was allowed another round of public consultation followed by a final proposal and a referendum with next year's local body election. It would have given time for working out the great complexity of merging the assets and democratic structures. As the ASB business segment on 3News tonight demonstrated, this task should not be underestimated. The massive uncertainty of how to integrate 7 different balance sheets justifiably left the suit with a WTF arched eyebrow.

Consider the merger of 8 water and waste water operations, all charging different levies. From the sounds of it, Watercare will automatically become a regional monopoly. Public assets will be subsumed and controlled by private management. And what about Waiheke and Great Barrier Islands, where many households have their own rain tank water supply? Do they cross-subsidise the others, or get a divvie for other peoples' assets? Idiot Savant is onto it.

There are very real grounds for anger on the democratic front, where the nodal councils recommended under the Royal Commission report have been abandoned in favour of the harmless, powerless, splintered realms of local boards. The retention of At Large Council seats will be another source of antagonism. If the Wellington region proposed an At Large voting system for councillors, they'd have another shitstorm on their hands. They learned their lesson last time they proposed that idea.

Then there's the weird shit point that residents have more representation on a national level through electorate MPs than at a local level under this Death Star Council. There's more Maori MPs in parliament than in the local Auckland Council:





This is not on. There's a better way of doing this. Once I've finished reading the Royal Commission Report, I'll post up my cunning alternative plan.

A little election goes a long way

There's good coverage of Iraq's local body elections in the New York Times. The Shiites are voting, the Sunnis are voting, the men and women are voting. With turnout of between 50 and 60 percent, about the same voter turnout as the US in 1980 electing Reagan as president, it puts our own local body turnout to shame. The 2007 Wellington local body election turnout was just 40 percent.

Three STV's and an FPP

Early indications show that if anybody is the winner in this year's local body elections, it's the Apathy Party by a landslide. Mike Moreu nicely sums up the dilemma confronting voters. My voting forms arrived some few weeks ago, as well as a 43-page booklet crammed with candidate profiles of no more than 150 words each. I finally posted it a coupla days ago. As DPF has posted up his preferences, here's who I chose and why:

Mayor

Nick Kelly (complete tosser) - 11
Helene Ritchie (loon) - 10
Bryan Pepperell (undeserved egotist) - 9
Carl Gifford (who?) - 8
John McGrath (twat) - 7
Jack Ruben (loon) - 6
Paul Bailey (who?) - 5
Rob Goulden (reminds me of Jason Hoyte in Gormsby and Outrageous Fortune) - 4
Nick Wang (he's got balls) - 3
Kerry Prendergast (married to Rex) - 2
Ray Ahipene-Mercer (competent) - 1

Western Ward

Fuck all choice here. Maybe I should have had a go after all.

Jack Ruben (loon) -5
Pauline Scott (generic Labour) - 4
John Morrison (poseur) - 3
Jo Coughlan (wild card) - 2
Andy Foster (sane) - 1

Capital and Coast District Health Board

This is the real spanner in the works. Note the numbering below. Even with a BA in politics, I screw up the vote. Utterly pointless exercise. Best tool here is a Dungeons and Dragons dice.

Helene Ritchie (loon) - 21
Coltyn Shaw (OK, you're Maori. Now what?) - 20
Jim Delahunty (no photo) - 19
Trisha Inglis (Kapiti) - 19
Karen Coutts (Labour ticket) - 18
John Cook (Waikanae not Wellington) - 17
Kent Clark (hippy) - 16
Adrian Webster (used the term 'social justice') - 15
Gordon Strachan (Kapiti) - 13
Hayley Wain (I hate Hayley Westernra) - 12
David Chamberlain (can balance a cheque book) - 11
Virginia Hope (Aucklander) - 10
Petra van den Munckhof (cool name) - 9
Felicity McLennan (nurse) - 8
Michael Appleby (I had to) - 7
Judith Aitken (incumbent) - 6
Sandra Patton (seemed clued up) - 5
Peter Roberts (doctor) - 4
Margaret Faulkner (nurse) - 3
Ruth Gottlieb (she's a yoda) - 2
Donald Urquhart-Hay (so dedicated, he worked in Palmy for 5 years) - 1

Wellington Regional Council

Woohoo! Onto the final leg here. No numbers, just five ticks. I hope there's a chocolate fish in it for me after all this work.

Judith Aitken (incumbent)
Bernard Darnton (token Libz vote)
Michael Gibson (it seemed a good idea at the time)
John Gilberthorpe (smart and networked like Neo)
Fran Wilde (the Cake Tin)

The Non-Running Man

Back on ANZAC Day, I decided to run for local council. With a week to go before the candidate deadline hits, I'm pulling the plug. Too many bad omens, too much enjoyment of life, too much fun doing exactly this.

Deaf not dumb

While profoundly Deaf politicians are rare, NZ has had a few nearly-deaf role models. Heather Simpson is probably the most powerful Deaf person in the country. Former Act MP Gerry Eckhoff wore two aids, which is why I was so stunned when Act voted against the NZSL Bill.

Congratulations to Kim Robinson on standing for the Nelson - Marlborough DHB this year. I met Kim last year at Deaf Club after the NZ Sign Language Bill passed the Third Reading. My signing was, as still is, very rudimentary. For a Deaf dude, he understood me just fine. All the best.

de Cleene for Western Ward Wellington

I have decided on a soft launch for my chance to serve. I will be standing as a candidate for the Onslow-Western Ward in this year's Wellington local body election on the goNZo Freakpower ticket:



Detailed policy platforms, and maybe a dedicated website, later. However, the seven principles I stand by are:

A Proper Bill of Rights
Quality of Life
Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness
Research & Development
Death to Red Tape
Consumer Advocacy
Citizens' Support

In the meantime, please send any questions to zippygonzales@gmail.com.