Thursday, January 22, 2009

Higgs Boson discovered amongst Cheney correspondence

President Obama's new Goatse on Government policy has already led to the discovery of one of the most elusive particles in the universe. In the short time Obama aides have been allowing search engines to search government websites, the Higgs Boson was spotted in one of the former vice president's reports.

"I found it in a .pdf file amongst a study of peace-keeping responses from the Pentagon," said Vim-Jif Harpic of Saigon. "In between the case studies on Active Denial Systems mounted on black helicopters and the laser canon on the moon was this strange blot. When I went to print it out, there was this strange yipping sound from the printer and a flash of bright light. Man, it was beautiful and it smelled like strawberries."

Physicists later identified the presence of the Higgs boson by studying the ink sprayed onto the walls by the quantum accident. Scientists at CERN are reported to be "slightly annoyed but mainly overjoyed" at the discovery. "We've been beaten to the punch while the Large Hadron Collider has been out of action. But proof of the presence of Higgs bosons cements our greater understanding of the cosmos," said Professor Hubert Escoffier at CERN.

A spokesperson for President Obama said that the president was glad that "some good has come out of the last eight years."