Thursday, December 27, 2012

Balls to 2013

After the political omnishambles of 2012, a wiser man would say it's all bets off for 2013. Uncertainty prevails. But where's the fun in that? Here's my predictions for 2013.

Safe bets

The Eurozone will continue its bullet train collision at Matrix bullet-time camera speed. The Germans will continue to stick with it, as the thought of a rapidly appreciating Deutchemark completely wrecking their manufacturing sector sinks in.

The situation in the Middle East will remain desperate, as usual (HT Tom Robbins).

The US and international finance circuit will continue to avoid any serious comeuppance.

David Farrar will continue to neglect updating his blogroll, which is stuffed to the gills with extinct blogs and dead links. It seems that no housekeeping has happened there since 2008. You know what geeks say about untidy directory structures; messy filing, messy mind.

David Farrar will also continue to be a false ping on gaydars, partly because of his lisp and NZ's narrow cultural stereotypes. e.g. Everyone different from the norm is gay.

There will be yet another budget blowout. Bill English will continue to hide new taxes by the Fees, Fines, SOE Sums method.

Even odds

Cameron Slater will succeed in weaning NZ Truth off adult ads for revenue by convincing Truth's owners to buy out Rod & Rifle magazine. The newly merged publication will be called Rod & Rifle & Truth, and will rely on cash from church ads, survivalist personal listings and Investigate magazine tie-ins.

Members of Crown Law and the Department of Prime Minister and Cabinet will join the GCSB, Police and SIS in the witness stand in the Kim Dotcom saga.

Not only will the emperor be shown to be wearing no clothes, the entire royal court will suffer wardrobe malfunctions.

The Financial Markets Authority will investigate another suspected Ponzi scheme involving metric fucktonnes of NZ dollars.

There will be at least one faith school of dubious character funded under the Charter Schools program when the winners are announced.

Same odds as winning Lotto

The NZ Labour Party gets its shit together.